I Won’t Quit

As I was scrolling through the ‘gram today I came upon a mug by the talented India of Whiski Designs. She had a mug with her incredible handlettering that said, “I won’t quit, but I will cuss the whole time.” And, I fell in love. It was brilliant and perfect, as is all of India’s work. Perfect except for the part about “I won’t quit”. Because, honestly, after the past few weeks I’ve been having I have wanted to quit.

I’ve wanted to quit

A million times a day I’ve wanted to quit………except I’m too hard-headed, stubborn, pertinacious, adamant, bullheaded, singleminded, pigheaded, tenacious, hellbent, and did I mention stubborn? So, I keep on going, usually with some choice words (some days a LOT of choice words).

I love my farm life

I love my farm life. I love my kitchen and caramel life. But, they’re each challenging in their own ways. Initially, I got into that farm life milk because we needed access to raw goat milk for our family’s needs. This in turn led to a lot of time spent not just in the barn, but in the kitchen, as well. Now, here we are five years later, a bonafide Farmher Lady, Caramel Maker, Shop Keeper that sometimes wants to quit.

Women’s History Month

It’s Women’s History Month. And, I originally wanted to share a well-curated and coiffed picture of me from my dear friend and talented photog, Lizzy Trauer. I wanted to share about our beginnings and journey of the accidental caramel company and where I saw us heading. I wanted it to be inspirational, lighthearted, and full of wisdom- where that wisdom was going to come from was still to be decided (but most definitely not from me). That would have been a perfect post.

Too perfect.

That would be the glossed-over fluff edition and it wouldn’t be completely honest. It wouldn’t be me. See the above picture of me going toe to toe with my stand of sunflowers if you want a more accurate picture of my daily life.

The real me

The real me? I get tired, bone weary tired. I get frustrated when the plan doesn’t take the path I thought it would. I make mistakes, lots of mistakes. I want to quit AND use the cuss words. I get downhearted when I feel as if everything I’m doing is in vain.

Not in vain

But, it isn’t in vain. This grand adventure has brought so much to my life. There have been some incredible relationships forged from the camaraderie of working farmers’ markets in the blistering sun, unrelenting wind, and the little bit of bitter cold that Texas receives. Some of my dearest friends I’ve gained from farmers, makers, bakers, and customers. The life lessons from four years of events and markets will last a lifetime.

And, just outside the big caramel picture stands my family who’s given up much to see me along on this grand adventure. They’ve rallied behind me. They’ve walked beside me helping to carry the heavy load. And, they’ve been there every single time to pick me up off the floor and propel me on. My family and my faith are the guideposts that not only see me along the trail but through the trials as well. And, I hope that in return I can give them the courage and tenacity to try the scary adventures in life, to keep going, try new things, and to most definitely not quit. Cuss words optional.

All images are by the talented Lizzy Trauer Photography.